Translation Check by Chrouya
Script: HDxD 11[edited].ass
Workraw: Hdxd 11 WR.avi
* Asterisks implying comments*

5
*she's saying "motto...buchou no yaku ni (tachitakatta)". A literal translation would be:*
I wanted to be more of use to the President...

7
*you can leave the sentence as is, because the sentence would've ended with a "te kureru" construction...Maybe more fitting TL:*
Asia shall heal your wounds immediately--

11
One of Rias-sama's rooks...
*consistency (see line 34)*

15
You're finished!
*dekiagaru = to be finished*

18
Those who are incapable of fighting are teleported to a designated location.
*different is fine too, I guess. Makes up for the context.*

19
Where they receive medical treatment.
*chiryou hodokosareru = to be applied medical treatment*

20
It's not as if Koneko is dead.
*literal translation, editor/qc may decide*

21
So calm down.
*This sounds more fitting in English.*

33
Bomb Queen
*Her nickname is bomu kuiin, Bomb Queen.*
*...or add -san for Priestess of Lightning in line 31, or omit it in both cases.*

47
*I was blabbering about this sentence but this figurative translation fits the context completely.*

56
It can't be helped. We were supposed to divide and conquer after Akeno was fully healed.
*yamu wo enai was omitted*
*omitting waiting for*
*kakko-gekiha: divide and conquer strategy*

61
*I believe upper hand is written without hyphen.*

62
*maybe it sounds nicer when you omit the "but" there.*

64
*the literal verb here is "to break"*

72
Since you're boldly advancing from the front,
*doudou was omitted*

92
*this sentence makes it sound as if Rias is cute but bitchy, but he's talking about that girl
It's a snide, bitchy character with a cute face this time?!
*something like this. Don't know what to do with punctuation here. help.*

107
She is Ravel Phenex.
*using official name*

113
Well, I don't really have a thing for my little sister.
*fits better and is literal as well.*

117 
*literal translation:*
But I can totally understand wanting to put a little sister into the harem.

123
This makes the fifth power-up...

124
It should be enough if the enemy were a Pawn, but...
*He's not referring himself as a Pawn. It means he can beat other Pawns with that strength.

125
Not for a Rook!
*as in, still lacking the power. Previous sentence can still be used however.

131
That's why I cannot afford to lose!
*literal translation*

135
My Holy Eraser...
*that's his first weapon, he doesn't have his Sword of Betrayal yet.*

137
Then how about this one? Come forth!
*omission of the second sentence*

153
Although it's almost time...
*for that boost to come*

160
That Sacred Gear is dangerous...Unless I just finish you first...!
*this sentence was taken out of context :(*

163
*He actually says "hajikeyo", meaning "Let's start". But I think this context translation will suffice.*

169
Isabella is...!
*indeed, she says "Isabera ga...!"*

170
One of Raiser-sama's Rooks...has been defeated.
*myea, both are possible. As she is the last Rook that was still in the field.*

Ravel calls 2 names after line 193:
Nii.
Rii.

199
*yes, her name is Chiris.*

204
*konzenkoushou means "premarital sexual relations", hard to translate.*
This is our long-awaited premarital intercourse after all.

205
*hmm...hard one too. She says like, "Who would want to do it with you?!", but leaves half the sentence out...Editor?*
Who would want to?!

207
I'll be fine. But don't mind me,

208
Just concentrate on the opponents before you!
*these 2 lines are connected*

209
But...!
*exclamation mark*

217
For her, I will... bring down all of you!
*kill...sounds rather grotesque...*

219
Hey Red Dragon, if you're listening, answer me!
*omission of the red dragon*

225
*sounds like it's called that way. No problem.*

232
233
Is it okay for you to be so assured?
*this is one sentence...relaxed instead of assured is also fine.*

260
*The reason why she says Take, is because she "takes" the knight piece away from the game. It's still chess.*

379
That doesn't matter, I like you anyway.
*typo*

403
*Assuming it can't be "My queen", which is the literal translation, maybe it's "Our queen, Rias Gremory." I'm not sure if Japanese would refer kisaki as bride.*